This year was a lot of "firsts" for me. It is the first time I've ever travelled out of the country. It was my first surgery. It was my first time of guys throwing themselves at me. (I'll elaborate in another post) It was my first time even having an IV. Most people look at me weird when I say that. I've never had a hospital stay or needed any surgeries or needed and IV.
I have heard stories about people going under for surgery, and they don't make it out. That only semi worried me. I'm at a place in my life where if I were to die right now, I'd be okay with that. I've done the majority of what I wanted to do. I've been on TV. I've been married. I've gotten divorced. (didn't wanna do that though) I've in a way had become a parent. I've bought a house. I've travelled to another country. I have had and still have a great career. If I were to have expired on that table, I would have been at peace. I'm definitely glad that I didn't. I figure I still have a lot of living to do.
I just didn't believe that my time was up at 33 years of age. I don't think that I've fulfilled all of my purpose yet. And I think that's the reason why I wasn't scared about having the surgery. First of all, to me, it's minor surgery. It's not as if they are tinkering with my heart or brain or anything like that. Mainly my coworkers and friends were scared for me and I'm like, "What's the big deal?" I even joked with one and gave her my mother's number in the event something did go wrong and told her I want to be cremated.
That joke didn't blow over too well.
Even the surgeon joked with me. As I was falling asleep, he said "If you see a bright light-- GO THE OTHER WAY!" I forget what song he was playing as he was operating. I want to say it was "Jump Around". I know it was old and it was rap. I remember thinking what an odd choice for music.
Anyway, this is just the first step to a better me. This has helped me to feel better about myself and to give me more confidence. I will definitely be back in the gym to work on the rest of my body.
For those of you who were concerned, I appreciate it. I made it through just fine. Now I just need to fully recover.